just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
