He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
