The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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