I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize