The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
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My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
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No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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