I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
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