I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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