i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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