so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
