Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
