The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
