either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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