I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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