She's JV to your varsity
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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