I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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