Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
how can u be prego again
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Randomize
