just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
