I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
