just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
You took a bar mat shot.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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