this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
