She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize