I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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