why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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