you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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