Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
