Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
My vagina is officially offended.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
