I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
