ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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