they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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