Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize