I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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