Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
