I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
True strength comes from lack of pants
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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