tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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