I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
