I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
