yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
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We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
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Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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