A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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