My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize