..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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