you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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