She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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