Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize