I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
i out mim tonsoeep
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
