just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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