i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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