PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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