Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize