I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
home. puking in laundry basket.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize