4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Help. Why am I so naked?
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