I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to sanitize my soul.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize