What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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