Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
